Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
