After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
