Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
