Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
