afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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