she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
