Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
