The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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