Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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