Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
