oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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