Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
