I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
