just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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