Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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