we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
