i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
