Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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