Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
