i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Randomize
