I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
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