just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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