All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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