Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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