Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
