Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I did not marry a roomba.
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