I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
