i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I think I won the penis lottery.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
