I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
