His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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