I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
