i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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