would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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