At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize