Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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