Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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