You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
