My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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