drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
