Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I understand Curling. That high.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
