forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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