You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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