i can't believe i had my finger in that
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
