I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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