I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize