i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
