She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
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He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
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You can't just leave with hair like that
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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