i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize