I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
