worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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