In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
