I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
