Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
