My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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