Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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