Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
This is the high leading the old right now
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
