A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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