Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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