How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
