Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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