which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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