I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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