He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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