I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
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