If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
