I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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