We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize