When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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