So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
